


Tech Support

by Ononymous



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route, Pre-Undertale, Pre-Undertale Pacifist Route
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2019-01-17 09:01:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12362274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ononymous/pseuds/Ononymous
Summary: The King has decided to try and keep up with the times, and learn how to use a computer. Much to the anxiety of the Royal Scientist. She can't wait for the barrier to break, then she can flex her cyber-muscles and show humans what she can really do.





	Tech Support

"And th-this is what I wrote the OS on. Th-that's short for 'Operating System', it's k-kinda like the brain of the computer."

"I see."

Alphys' mouth was bone dry as the King regarded the large monitor with interest.

"And this passage. 'If Dee Tee underscore extract underscore level equals zero.' What does that mean?"

"Oh, well that's code f-for the operation of the extractor. I wr-wrote a program so I wouldn't need t-to monitor everything b-by myself. It's c-complicated."

"And code is like... a series of instructions that the computer follows, is it?"

"Y-yes, your majesty."

She watched Asgore sip his tea as he tried deciphering more code. She hadn't been in the job long, and she already felt trapped. Her initial attempt to get him to understand what Mettaton truly was had withered in the presence of the hope on his face, and now she was tasked with what sounded impossible. However she had been so busy experimenting with the schematics and getting into the nuts and bolts of building and programming, it helped keep the anxiety of what she had been asked to accomplish at bay. Having to give a surprise tour to the King himself nearly made her faint, but he hadn't asked how the soul business had progressed, so she was just about able to keep a handle on it by explaining the stuff she felt more comfortable with.

"Fascinating," he mused, "what computers can do nowadays. Did you know the Snail Farm in Waterfall keeps track of what you purchase using a computer? The nice ghost that runs it told me about it. And I have heard of all sorts of things you can do on the Undernet."

Alphys felt a rare flush of pride spread through her scales. Helping to set up a monster version of the human internet had been one of her finest achievements, before everyone started talking about Mettaton. But thinking of him stoked her anxiety. Why did he play along so much?

"Doctor Alphys," he said suddenly, "might I ask a favour of you?"

"Oh! O-of course, s-sir!"

"All this talk of appellation systems and programs has reminded me of the opportunities we avail of thanks to what we recover from the garbage. I mean, the Core itself is ultimately a product of such an idea, isn't it?"

"Yes, K-King Asgore."

Both of them scratched their heads. They were well aware of the project that designed and built the core, but could not remember who had led it. Dwelling on it for long always seemed to leave an identical itch in the head of any monster who thought about it.

"In any case, I feel I should have a better understanding of what it is we develop as time goes on, or I cannot make the best decisions as King about how to use them. I must try to keep up with the times. Would it be possible to for you to, well, build a computer for me to use?"

A thrill of excitement stole through Alphys. This was something she could do in her sleep. And yet...

"Are you sure, sir? N-nobody expects you to be a master of everything."

"If it is what everyone else is using Alphys, surely I should at least understand the lingo, as they say. Of course, the barrier's... alternate solution is the Royal Scientist's top priority, so if you are fretting this shall take too much time..."

"N-n-no sir! I can do it! Even sh-show you the basics. Give me a d-day or t-two."

"Splendid. I shall have the tea ready."

* * *

Two days later Alphys had thrown a computer together. Asgore had given her a list of things he'd like to try with the computer, and although she had to explain the computer couldn't control the kettle in his kitchen to boil the water as he woke up, most of it was simple writing, record keeping, and perhaps Undernet surfing. So it didn't take her long to make sure it was up to date and with the relevant software, and she hurried over to his house to set it up.

The computer then remained untouched for another two days, because although it was easy to set up, the keyboard and mouse were far too small. She had forgotten to take the King's hands into account, and unless he typed very slowly with the tip of his claws he was guaranteed to hit at least three keys with every press. Furious with herself, she found the components necessary to build a custom keyboard where each key was half again as large, and a mouse to match. Eventually on day five, she was able to talk him through writing, and spreadsheets, and the Undernet. Even with an appropriately scaled keyboard he was cautious with each key he pressed. But by the time she was finished he had opened a file called "journal" and was attempting to write it. As she left she saw him type "Nice day today!"

With the favour fulfilled, Alphys returned to the much more thorny issue of the barrier, and cultivating a soul to break it. Over the next few days, the extractor was coming along well, she would be ready to harness determination from the souls they already had. And then she just had to decide how to-

Her phone rang.

"H-hello?"

"Doctor, howdy! It's Asgore here. I just have a question or two."

It was then Alphys began to suspect it may have been kinder to turn down the King's request.

This one wasn't too bad, he had accidentally formatted a document he'd been writing so there were maybe three words a page, and he had forgotten the tips she gave him last time. But it turned out to be only the start.

* * *

"So it's 'equals sum bracket ay three plus bee three close bracket'?"

"Y-yes, sir. That adds up the total tax revenue from Snowdin and Waterfall."

"But what if I wish to include Hotlands?"

"Plus c-cee three."

"And-"

"Dee three f-for the Core, Ee three for N-New Home."

"Thank you, Alphys."

* * *

"S-so you're d-don't think the CD r-ripped to your computer?"

"Oh no, it did. I can see the little window with all the songs."

"Then wh-what's the problem s-sir?"

"Well if I wish to put the songs back on the CD, how to I reassemble the CD after ripping it?"

Asgore heard a patient sigh on the phone.

* * *

"It w-won't boot up?"

"No. I press the button, and it says it is loading, but it does nothing else"

"Well, wh-what did you do last time?"

"I had just finished my journal for the day, and it told me it was running out of memory. So I clicked the delete button on some folders I don't use."

"You... Your M-Majesty, c-can you remember the folders you d-deleted?"

"Hmm... One was called something like system 32."

Alphys started rummaging for her backup installation CD and checking her schedule for a house call.

* * *

"...and Hephaestus somehow knew it was me who had been talking about it! How did he figure out who I was?"

"S-sir, remember we talked about using y-your real name?"

"But I haven't! I was careful!"

"Wh-what do you call yourself then?"

"GoreyDreams. I mean, that's not even how you spell Dreemurr!"

* * *

There was only one computer virus known on the Undernet. But any computer Alphys worked with was well guarded against it. And yet...

"The a-anti-virus software sh-should have caught this! H-how did it get on?"

"Oh, I, erm, disabled it."

"Wh-why, sir?!"

"Well, I was talking to every1_kn0ws_m3, and he assured me I needed to do it to look at the file he was sending me."

Alphys' sigh was a lot less patient.

"Do... do you need to wipe it again?"

"N-no King Asgore, I sh-should be able to correct this f-from the BIOS screen."

"Oh! Just a moment."

With a few surprisingly deft key strokes, the infected computer restarted, and then paused on the BIOS screen.

"H-how did you know t-to do that?!"

"Oh, it was shown to me by... I learned by watching... he definitely... hmm..."

Asgore and Alphys absently scratched their heads.

* * *

And then, Alphys heard the words she had been dreading.

"Doctor, the Royal Guard found a printer in the garbage, and I am attempting to connect it to my computer."

She actually spent the night at his house, it took so long.

* * *

It had gotten to the point where she had to set aside half an hour a day to counsel him on whatever problem he was having. He was enthusiastic about it and to his credit he rarely called about the same thing twice, but Alphys couldn't help but find it frustrating. Especially as she nearly had enough determination stockpiled to begin work on creating or harnessing a soul. She still had an internal panic attack every time she thought of it, of screwing up and eventually revealing she was a big fraud, and she wanted to at least earn that criticism without having distraction as an excuse.

"Um, s-sir?"

"Howdy, Alphys! Tea?"

"Oh, th-thank you."

"You wished to tell me something?"

"Y-yes sir. I'm about to enter a c-critical phase of my r-research into the Barrier, and-"

"Oh! May I ask a quick favour of you then?"

"Yes?"

"Could you help me pack my computer and printer away?"

"P-pack- Why?"

"Well, it has been fun trying it out, and speaking to all sorts of people in a whole new way. But this morning I noticed the flowers in my garden were looking peaky. I need to attend to them more. Perhaps when the seasons shift I shall have more time to learn."

"Oh. Oh! Of c-course Your Majesty!"

"Splendid, thank you, Doctor. Now then, you, er, wanted to say something?"

"Oh, Um, y-yeah. The critical phase. I j-just wanted to say that, uh, I'm s-sure what I do there w-will change everything!"

"I am glad you feel so confident about it." he smiled.

So Alphys packed it all in a box that ended up on top of his wardrobe, and began her experiments in earnest. Although she had been lying through her teeth about her confidence, and although her experiments failed to break the barrier before a seventh human fell into the Underground, they ultimately turned out to have been a complete success, even if Alphys hadn't known it at the time.

* * *

The human internet was awesome, in the traditional sense.

So much to see and do. Their kindness and cruelties, pleasures and perversions. When she had first experimented with integrating the Undernet into the wider network she had been paralysed when the search engine appeared, not knowing what to look at. So she looked at anime.

Mew Mew Kissy Cutie wasn't massively popular on the surface, but those who followed it did so passionately. Online, with her associates unaware of her claws or tail, she fit right in, eventually becoming something of a leader in the fandom. By the time it eventually came out that she was a monster, it didn't matter to anyone. She even undertook the task of building a new message board dedicated primarily to Mew Mew. She took everything she had ever learned and figured out about computers and poured her heart and soul into it, confident it was as secure as she could make it.

While Undyne was always making sure she didn't spend all her time shut up in the bedroom alone when they could be shut up in the living room together, and she kept herself honest with trying to talk to humans in the flesh, The Mew Mew Forum delighted her more than all the research projects she'd been offered.

That was when the trouble started.

One morning she attempted to log in, but the forums no longer recognised her username. Vexed, she loaded up the tables in the database. Her account, the very first, still had her email address and encrypted password, but the username had been altered to "MewMewKissyCutie2 Rules". A little offended, she checked the forum logs, and found nobody had logged onto her account. Puzzled, she logged on, changed her name back and updated her password, just in case. She got ribbed a little by other forumers, but that seemed to be the extent of the damage.

A couple of weeks later, she woke up, logged on and discovered an array of new threads posted in her name, long deconstructions and criticisms of Mew Mew 1 that she didn't agree with a word of. What was worse was how rude the intruder had been to responders, even those who agreed with them. This time the logs showed somebody else had indeed logged on to cause the mischief, and as she continued to dig she eventually discovered a private message from an account that hadn't posted.

_128 bit encryption? Impressive decades ago. Keep up! And don't hate Mew Mew 2 just because it's newer!_

Unnerved, she banned the account and IP address and changed her password, but was unsure what to do beyond that.

The third incident took the biscuit. A month later an email from the service which hosted the forum for her said there was an irregularity with her account, so she used the link it provided, signed in, and was reassured everything was fine. The next day, the forums had been deleted. From her account. In blind panic, she was able to find a backup she took, but it was days old, and that meant lots of fanart that the forums had the ability to store was gone, unless their owners had saved it locally.

She got deluged in emails complaining about it, and it took her back to the families of DT subjects demanding to know what she was playing at. She actually started hyperventilating for the first time since the last of those subjects had been dealt with. Undyne threatening to break something when she heard was little comfort, and she slept badly that night.

* * *

The next morning, she had only one new email, but its news was much better. Some of her online friends had done some snooping, and traced all the shenanigans to someone in Roufides City who had a reputation in the fandom for being an abrasive fanatic about Mew Mew 2, but also with a PhD in Computer Science. They had gotten their revenge – how, they didn't say – and assured her he'd leave the forum alone from now on. That helped a little, but Alphys' mood was at its lowest point for months.

How had she been victim to so much trouble with computers? She knew the most about them among anyone in the Underground, and there were enough monsters to ask that she could take this as fact, and she felt like... like... well she didn't want to insult him.

Wallowing online wouldn't be healthy, Frisk would probably hold some kind of intervention. Taking the day off, she decided to go sit in the park for a while. It was a dull overcast day, but rain wasn't likely. It was fitting really. She eyed an overflowing bin nearby, and felt a worrisome sense of nostalgia. But she couldn't help but feel she deserved it, even though she didn't yet understand why.

Eventually her sense of hunger overrode her depression. There were several cafes nearby, but she still didn't feel like talking to people. Undyne would probably get mad at her later, but she still had some instant noodles in the cupboard. With a weary sigh she forced herself off the bench and began the slow walk back to her house, not really paying attention to those around her.

"Howdy, Alphys! Alphys?"

She hadn't registered the deep voice until a wall of flowery hazel appeared in her path, and she just about managed to stop before colliding with it.

"Oh, A-Asgore! Hello, sir..."

She looked up at his face, which had an expression of concern.

"I was tidying the bushes in my garden when I saw you. Dear me, Alphys, you look dreadful. Come inside and have some tea."

Despite her desire to be alone, she had no mental energy to resist, so she allowed his fuzzy hand on her back to guide her into his house, where she sat on a pouffe so as not to squash her tail, absently staring at the gardening magazines that littered the table. Before long there was a warm cup of tea in her hand and a plate of biscuits she had reluctantly taken a few from at Asgore's insistence.

"Now, Alphys," he began, "what is troubling you?"

"N-nothing."

"Hmm," Asgore stroked his beard, "I have a note from Undyne for just such a nothing."

Getting up from his squashy armchair, he lifted a souvenir from the fireplace, delicately took a small piece of paper from underneath it, and handed it to her. She scanned the scrawl on it as he sat back down.

_Hey Asgore,_

_If Alphys looks upset and won't tell you why, you have my permission to give her a nougie!!_

"Now to be honest, I don't intend to give you a nougie. But I do feel I should press on what is troubling you."

She sighed with resignation. "Al-alright. I'm... well I'm having computer trouble."

For some reason she expected a look of surprise or amusement, but patient concern remained on his muzzle. So trying really hard not to get sidetracked with the politics of the Mew Mew fandom or the technical details, she began to recount the hacks she had endured.

"...and for th-that first one I'm st-still not sure how they changed my username."

Asgore took a deep sip of his tea, looking like he was trying to remember something.

"It couldn't have been a, oh what was the phrase, a 'sequel injection attack', could it?"

"'Sequel'? Oh, SQL? Wh-what's an injection-"

"Well if I recall correctly, it's something about filling out a form online, but instead of a name or what have you, you put in instructions, code, that does something to the, I think it was database. It can happen if the form cannot detect that it is being misused, I think."

Alphys stared at him. Her mind raced, thinking how the login form interacted with the user tables and... well she hadn't thought to sanitize input. Maybe it was possible.

"A-anyway, that was nothing to when the f-forum got deleted. I d-don't understand it, the hosts w-warned me and I l-logged in to check and they s-said everything was fine."

"Ah," he nodded sagely, "that may have been a case of phishing."

"Fishing?"

"Well, I know most of the humans we've met have been nice, but there are those who would wish ill on everyone that isn't themselves. And they really do that; go on the internet and tell lies. I read about how they can pretend to be someone else and trick you into giving them your password."

She was now dumbfounded. Once again thinking back to her correspondence with the hosting service, she realised all the messages she thought had been genuine addressed her as Alphys, but the warning email only called her MMKCAdmin. That would make sense if he hadn't learned her name. But something else was bothering her now.

"H-how do you k-know all this, sir?"

A gentle look of pride took hold on his muzzle. "Oh. Well, come upstairs and I can show you."

She obliged, following Asgore up the stairs and into an office. There were two desks. One had a stack of letters and forms and books about law and diplomacy. The other held a tidy pile of magazines, and a small brand new looking computer with matching printer. She recognised her custom built keyboard and mouse.

"I noticed an advertisement in _Gardening Today_ , and I decided to resume my studies. Or perhaps begin them again is closer to the truth."

He took a magazine and handed it to her. _Computers and the Internet for Beginners of all Ages_.

"Frisk helped me connect everything. The wires are very fiddly for someone my size. But after that I've been following the tips and advice myself. Did you know that there are additional folders other than System32 you shouldn't delete?"

She was skimming through the magazine, and spotted a section on keeping websites secure from hackers. Sure enough, there was an article on SQL Injection, and there was Phishing, and a recommendation of using 1024-bit encryption at a minimum, as lesser forms were outdated and much easier to break.

"I am sorry I did not ask you for advice on this, but you have been very busy, and I thought it would be good to try myself."

"N-no, don't worry Asgore." she said distantly. "How are you getting on?"

"Very well, I think. I write my journal there every day. I managed to put the pictures I took of my flowers on there. I am thinking of making a website to show them off. And look, I even managed a, what was it, a mail-merge to print these names and addresses for Christmas Cards!"

He looked delighted with himself as he showed the sheets to her. It faded however as her mood failed to visibly improve.

"Is there anything else wrong, Alphys?"

"I..." she twiddled her claws, "I thought I kn-knew everything about computers because I w-worked with them all the time Underground, but I'm so b-behind the times. I'm so stupid."

A large hand rested on her shoulder. "Now Alphys, Undyne gave me another note about what to do if you say that-"

"Okay!" she squeaked. "I'm not stupid!"

"That's better," he beamed, "and you're not alone. When I started my garden, I used the methods I used Underground, and they worked well enough. A human came by one day and asked about all sorts of techniques I had never heard of! Honestly, it was intimidating to realise all the ways it could be done. It was so easy to forget that we only knew fragments of what the surface has to offer that we thought it was everything."

"So what d-did you do?"

"Catching up. I said that once, didn't I? Must keep up with the times, be it with flowers or computers. And it is not like what I knew before is worthless, it makes a solid foundation in fact. I just have to keep in mind that I do not know everything there is on the subject. Perhaps you should do something similar. Would you like to borrow that magazine?"

A moment's stab of resentment gripped her, but she forced herself to get past it. "Uh s-sure. Thanks, Asgore."

She remembered the tea on the table, and took a large gulp of it. She felt better, more confident. She'd make the forum even more secure than ever before.

"S-so," she said, now engaged with the conversation, "are you going to t-try something else with your c-computer?"

"Well, I haven't braved trying to buy anything online, though that would be more due to needing help with human banks and how to convert gold into currency. I admit I would need help with that. Also the next edition of the magazine will talk about organising my emails, so I do not accidentally send a funny email to a diplomat again. And then..." It was his turn to look a little sombre. "Well... there are old tapes of mine... it was before your time. I thought I would gather them up and follow this edition's advice on transferring video tapes to computer files, so that I could preserve them."

Alphys' tail twitched, worried if the subject of five missing tapes would come up.

"But it shall have to wait a while," he continued, "I am preparing for a diplomatic mission at the airport."

"Oh," she said, glad he was distracted, "who w-with, sir?"

"Well there is not much in the way of Human Royalty these days, but I made contact with a Prince! He has expressed interest in providing funding to help us expand the town, and he is flying in from Nigeria tomorrow so I may discuss appropriate collateral with him."

"Uh, s-sir..."

**Author's Note:**

> Original Pastebin Version: https://pastebin.com/SQJd64xW
> 
> Let me know what you think, and thanks for reading!


End file.
